I came across this quote the other day:
Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory
– Dr. Seuss
I tend to be amazed as to what I seem to deem worthy to store in my memory bank.
I am just as amazed as to what I do not remember. I will get to that in a bit. For now, here is a clue as to the kind of memories that have power to stay:
I think in cartoon? [Click to Enlarge]
A lot of my fondest memories are from film or books.
Or even video games.
The beautiful thing about memories from film and books is that the memory can be sad or angry, yet I am so thankful for having that memory. That could never occur for something that happened to me in real life. Yet I think of these fiction memories as a part of me.
It is a win-win. Yay!
For example, I think of both Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (TV series) as one of the greatest experiences of my life. I have many memories, both happy and sad, from the shows.
I knew the show was extra special when Edward Elric (aka Fullmetal) had to dig up the bones of his mother. While I was watching this scene unfold, I was very gung-ho, “Yeah! FINALLY, you are going to dig up the bones!” Just so that you do not think that I am this heartless person, there is a very, very good reason why he must dig up the bones of his mother. I am not going to spoil it.
For the fifteen seconds or so that the viewer actually gets to see Ed digging up his mother’s grave, he is crying and apologizing to his mother. Then it suddenly clicked for me how difficult it must be for him. (You are probably thinking, “Really Anna?! You didn’t think it would be hard for him?!” No seriously, there is a very good reason why someone would, at first, be quite excited that Ed would be digging up the bones of his mother. You must believe me!) The gravity of the scene hit me, and I started crying because I went from really happy to really sad really quickly. Especially when one can argue that the entire series is pivoted on what happened between Edward, Alphonse, and the death of their mother. Anyway, this particular scene, is one of my fondest memories. It is still so vivid to me, that I even got teary-eyed typing this paragraph.
I am proud of that.
I would not deprive my worst enemy of Fullmetal Alchemist.
On second thought, perhaps I should force my worst enemies to watch Fullmetal Alchemist, “SEE? SEE the errors of your ways?”
On third thought, if you read the second thought, you may very well be a friend who I coincidentally told recently that watching Fullmetal Alchemist was a necessity. I do realize how suspicious this looks.
Sometimes you don’t know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
When I read that quote, I thought of all of the memories I had in which I now went, “Wow! Those moments definitely did not seem significant at the time, yet now evoke such magic or disgust! How interesting!”
Case in point, a long time ago now (it has been six or seven years+?), I had this on and off again thing with this one fellow for two (three?) years. At the time, I thought of everything as having a fairly significant impact on my life and memory.
Now, I would have expected to remember more. I remember facts and rough drafts of memories of that pseudo-relationship, but I only have one vivid memory left. It is the only memory that I feel any kind of emotion. I was kind of embarrassed with myself when I realized this, at first. Though, this one little memory tells so much.
We’re about to board the Metro and the ticket machine only accepts small bills and debit/credit cards. I only have a $20 bill and an ATM card (it would be a few months until I turned 18).
I gesture to what is in my wallet and ask something like, “Can you pay? I can’t.”
He points to the ATM card in my wallet, he’s seething. “Why can’t you use that?”
“I can’t – it’s an ATM card.”
He gives me a look that says, And? He points to his debit card – it looks virtually the same as my ATM card because we have the same bank. I knew at this point that it was pointless explaining that there is a difference between an ATM card and a debit card.
“It won’t work.”
Still seething, he finally pays.
I remember this scene more vividly than most of my childhood. I hear, SNAP! … SNAP! …. SNAP! …