Part 1: Scripting

Fairy tales are more than true:

Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

Neil Gaiman, Coraline

Whenever I have reached certain, specific types of moments in life, I find myself scripting, in a sense, in my head. I repeat quotes over and over again that I have memorized from movies, television shows, and books.

I think of it as functional, at least.

Rule one of dying: don’t.

Rule two: slow down.

You’ve got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you’re going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you’ve already survived. There’s a storeroom in your mind. Lock the door and think. This is my storeroom.

Doctor Who, Episode: Heaven Sent
[All remaining quotes.]

I script the above quote quite a bit. No, I do not often find myself in situations where I am potentially dying (that said, some may disagree). However, what a hilarious thing to start off a pep talk when you’re down? Don’t die! Why? It’s a rule! If anything, just don’t die! Nothing snaps you out faster. At least, if that’s your kind of humor. Now think fast!

I can’t keep doing this. I can’t always do this. It’s not fair…

Why can’t I just lose?

[“Clara” replies by writing NO! on the chalkboard]

I have seen that episode at least seven times. And this week I am slowly going through the scripts of that episode.

And I realized recently – that a demon that has always weighed on me, and alluded to in my last entry I can get rid of by making mysteriously analogous fairy tales. The demon I am referring to is – hiding truths.

It has always weighed on me to hide truths.

It may not be adult of me to say what has happened to me in my life, over some areas, but no one can stop me from telling mysteriously analogous dark fairy tales.

That said, there’s the technicality that, as an adult, you can say whatever you want. But, you have to be safe. Fairy tales are safe.

The first rule of being interrogated is that you are the only irreplaceable person in the torture chamber. The room is yours, so work it.

If they are going to threaten you to death, show them who’s boss.

Here’s a short primer fairy tale:

Once upon a time, in a far off land, a fairy found a place to call home. She wanted to see the mountains made of rainbows.

However, she found the place was not as it seemed, and she soon realized she had to leave. There were different rules than where she was from. The fairies she trusted were not trustworthy. They told her everything was okay. But the fairy knew that everything was not okay. Fairies were being taken, and fairies were losing their heads. They told her, “You’re different.” But she knew she was not different than the fairies being taken and the fairies that were losing their heads.

She reiterated: The rules were different. So the fairy worked to leave that far off land so that she wasn’t taken and she didn’t lose her head.

At the end, she saw the mountains made of rainbows.

And they were beautiful.

I always imagine I’m back in my TARDIS, showing off… Telling you how I escaped – making you laugh. That’s what I’m doing right now… […]

And I’m going to tell you how I survived. Can’t wait to hear what I say.

The Rainbow Mountains: Gansu Province, PRC